Why I DON'T Relay

Why I DON'T Relay...

I and the American Cancer Society fundraising arm do not see eye to eye.

In short, they stole software I wrote to manage the fundraising for the Relay for Life of Second Life, with which they have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars (and continue to) and did so telling me that I was being "dismissed" for being too poor (!), claiming ownership over my work since I was a volunteer for them at the time, the funny thing about "work for hire" is that you actually have to give what is called consideration (not necessarily a wage) for the work to own it. I did not receive so much as a t-shirt or keychain.

Don't get me wrong, the ACS does a lot of good work, but their methods of funding that work leave much to desire.

Networked Communication of Second Life® Objects using LSL, php, and MySQL.

In 2009, I was tasked with the creation of a new donation system for American Cancer Society's Relay For Life of Second Life. The 2010 system was very robust and fast with new features, one being the real time updates of team totals. To accomplish this, I created a Hub and Spoke network communicating to the kiosks from a centralized database using the LSL HTTP server method.

I believe my method to be very fast, stable and scalable. I have detailed how I accomplished it in the below paper.

Networked Communication of Second Life® Objects using LSL, php, and MySQL.

Ada Lovelace Day

In honor of Ada Lovelace Day, I post an essay I wrote for an Ada Exhibit that took place in Caledon in July of 2008.

-=[Ada Lovelace, Queen of Engines, Queen of my Heart]=-
-=[Poetical Science and the Art of CodePoetry]=-

It is a sad tale to be separated from your soul mate by 120 years. But that is the way I feel about Lady Ada and me. The roads we have traveled has lead us to many of the same places. Though divided by the centuries she has set the path before me and I have walked it. You can say Lady Ada drew the plans, but I have been able to build it. She was the daughter of Lord Byron the Poet. Her mother, fearing that Ada may become a poet schooled her in science and mathematics. Even so, she still inherited the soul of a poet asking her mother, “if you can't give me poetry, can't you give me "poetical science?" “ In the same way I approach writing computer programs an artistic pursuit which I call “CodePoetry”.

During Ada's lifetime, Charles Babbage designed a machine called the Analytical Engine. This machine if built would have been the worlds first general purpose computer. Capable of performing any computational task, like the computer that sits on your desk today. The leading experts of her time saw the Analytical Engine as a means of calculating numbers flawlessly taking the tedium and error out of number crunching. Ada on the other had, saw the potential of Analytical Engine writing, "the Engine might compose elaborate and scientific pieces of music of any degree of complexity or extent."

But Ada was not a flighty poet by any means she had the training and knowledge of an accomplished mathematician and a grasp of computing beyond that of many of her peers. In a translation of a paper on the Analytical Engine by Luigi Menabrea she appended notes that were longer than the original paper itself, and in one of these notes included a method for calculating Bernoulli numbers on the Analytical Engine. It is this program that is considered today to be the world's first computer program.

I carry on this tradition every time I write a new computer program that for a moment in time is the world's latest computer program. And the Spirit of Ada guides me in my pursuit. Creating CodePoetry, is not simply programming, it is programming in a certain mindset, focusing on elegance, efficiency, and ingenuity. It is programming as an artistic pursuit, not as a technical science.

Though the writing of CodePoetry is an artistic pursuit, it is by no means extravagant or sloppy. It is based on certain rules (as all programs are) so the foundation must be extreme technical skill, once mastering the rules, one can learn to bend them, but never to the point of breaking (for if you break a rule, your program won't compile!).

I see writing CodePoetry as akin to playing improvisational jazz, or the architecture of someone like Frank Lloyd Wright, with a strong foundation of technical skill, going in an unexpected direction, and arriving at beauty.

It was Ada that first envisioned arriving at beauty with a computer, I like to think my centuries-separated soul mate smiles on me and I make her proud realizing her dream she had so long ago today.

-- ZenMondo Wormser
July 19, 02008.
Caledon Steam Sky City

I am Number 6

I really don't want to toot my own horn about this, so I will let our Guvnah do it for me.

Zenmondo... where does one begin with Zenmondo?

Zen is the sort of fellow that one finds in movies; an unorthodox hero that might make the casual observer wonder: this jovial, offbeat, wayward fellow ~ a knight?

But just like the movies, the story reveals the truth. Our Zen has done countless quiet things for camaraderie and community: usually with his scripting talents, all too often with comic relief, and ultimately ~ with his heart.

RFL's kiosks in 2009 wouldn't have worked at all, were it not for Zen. Long hours of tireless, thankless effort on an unstoppable schedule. All of it selfless, unrecognised effort for people in need and a cause greater than himself.

He is a true Knight of Caledon.

- Desmond Shang

A very busy CodePoet

Zen goes to a long forgotten desk draw and pulls out a bound leather journal, lifting it to his face, he blows upon it sending a cloud of dust flying off of the tome and into the ear, he places it on the desk, takes out a quill and begins to write....

It has been a long time since I have kept this journal. That is not to say there has been nothing to write about, just that I have been so busy so as not to have time to write. I have expanded my horizons beyond Caledon, and have become a Jedi Knight in the New Order of the Jedi based on Ruusan. But I will not be writing of those adventures here, as it would be quite jarring to the established narrative.

One thing that has been taking up much of this CodePoet's second life is being the tech chair for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life of Second Life.

It was January (JANUARY!) that I recieved a most interesting note, entitled "A Hero's Quest" It read as follows:

Looking for potential Knight seeking to do Good And Worthy Deeds,

Whereas the prior Relay For Life Kiosk Scripter has resigned,

And whereas the prior kiosk scripts shall be made available,

And whereas the Hulking Beast of Bureaucracy may rear its head,

The Vicereine of Caledon, Her Lyonesse Kamilah I,

And the Guvnah of Caledon, the Right Honourable Desmond Shang,

Seeks a Hero to wield the Mighty Sword of Healing (+5),

And to fill the gap in scripting knowledge and other arcane arts for the benefit of the Relay.

Interested Hero Prospects shall contact the Chair of the Relay For Life of Second Life, Fayandria Foley.

I took up this quest, and I pray I did well for it. There were some technical hiccups beyond my control, but I have taken steps that they will not be repeated for the Relay of 2010. I am already committed to creating a new Kiosk and Vendor system for 2010, this time hosted on servers provided by the American Cancer Society. This should alleviate what were our biggest technical hurdles for 2009.

The 2009 Relay season is over, and it was amazing. Record-breaking fund raising and full of meaningful ceremony. I look forward to the part I have to play in 2010.

The thing that makes me sad is that I did not have a lot of involvement with Team Caledon this year as working for all of relay kept me very busy. I will try to balance this better next year.

Caledon inspired Haiku & Limericks

The sounds follow me
Machines are chugging away
It's Steam Sky City

A maid from fair Caledon
went out without knickers on
Along came a breeze
lifted her skirt with ease
Much to the joy of the looker-ons.


A dance in steam sky city
where girls are dressed so pretty
I come in late
I can't find a date
Alas, oh my, what a pity.

Resignation from Clan Kintyre

To Her Grace Duchess Lavendar Beaumont
To His Grace Duke Regent Erasmus Margulis
To Clan Kintyre

Graces And Clan,

Clan Kintyre was founded to be treated like a family, and I feel no longer welcome. I have served dutifuly with love and dedication, but it seems the love is no longer returned.

It is for this reason I resign all position and title I have in Clan Kintyre Effective Midnight, Wednesday April 9, 2008.

Your Humble Servant,

-- ZenMondo Wormser

Zen & The Art of Steampunk Episode 1

Zen & The Art of Steampunk Episode 1

This episode is my "pilot". Topics covered:

* Review of the League of Extraordinary Gentelmen vol. 1
* Review of the move of the same name.
* A little bit about Caledon
* An overview of Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine.

You can subscribe to the feed at http://feeds.feedburner.com/SteampunkZen

It is also available in the iTunes Shop by following

This finely crafted link.

The Silver Rabbit

Back in August, I was accepted into the Library Militant. Today, I have received my orders, along with many others today in Lovelace.

I was presented with these words by Sir JJ Drinkwater,

to ZenMondo Wormser in tribute to his labour and dedication, in creating, maintaining, and endlessly adjusting and explaining a set of Openly Shared and extensively Documented scripts for our most important Library Gizmos, the Order of the Lapin d'Argent.

Not one to rest on my laurels, I am taking on more work for the library beyond providing system resources and will now by curating the Steampunk Collection. So anything you would like to see in that regard, feel free to drop this CodePoet a line.

Ambassador Zen

For those of you who were not on the state channel shortly after Midnight, SLT Feb. 22, 02008:

[0:08] Desmond Shang: oh, in OTHER news,
[0:08] Desmond Shang: ZenMondo Wormser has petitioned, and has been accepted as,
[0:09] Desmond Shang: Caledon's Ambassador to the Real World.
[0:09] Desmond Shang: wherever that is!


So its official, I am Caledon's Ambassador to the Real World (wherever that is). I am happy to have this post. I do not feel any less Caledonian when I log out in second life, and even my attire tends to reflect this.

Now the Caledonian Embassy will have to serve triple duty, as Embassy for Caledon, Court of the KING of Wyoming SteamPunks, and well, my apartment.

I do plan on doing something with this and spreading Caledoniansim to the real world.

Now I need a Real Life Caledon Flag, Caledon Passport, Caledon Tartan Kilt, and Caledon Tartan Boxer Shorts.

The Pillory of Public Opinion

I have many triumphs and many failures, most of which go unseen. Yes, I have had public accolades in the past, but have done much work without it. Some things have been private that I wish had been public and somethings have been made public that I would rather remain private.

Recently, I have made the largest mistake of my Second Life which has been made very public. I have no shortage of opinions offered and what kind of low, base human being this makes me.

I did not set out to be a public figure, but I seem to have found my place there, and so my mistakes are writ large for all of Caledon to see.

I am still the man I always was. I was always flawed. I never tried to hide my flaws. It was my inability to hide this flaw that has lead to the virtual flogging I have received.

If there is enough demand I will sit in stocks in public and you may all have at me and have it done with. I understand the need to express your anger at me, but I will be glad when it has passed.

Truth be told, I did not deserve her.

Adventures of the CodePoet: SkyDancing

In spring of 2006, I was still starting out as a CodePoet, and I found myself living in a small artist's community named Grainne O'Malley. A small Irish village, and I was given an apartment rent free above an art Gallery. I would be a resident CodePoet for the village, where the other artists could come to me for their scripting needs. It was a good beginning.

One day, at the end of April, a new artist came to Granny. Tall, wearing a black & yellow jumpsuit. This was Dancoyote Antonelli. He was opening a small space in Granny to show his work.

Soon he approached me for some scripting. On May 2, 2006 DC and I entered into a formal arrangement for some pretty simple scripts, for a very low price, L$300. He drew up a contract for this job, and this surprised me -- all my other work had been done with handshake deals. But I accepted, and he even named our partnership: ZenCoyote Ltd.

I later found out that it was less a job and more of an audition to see if we could work well together. I must have passed, for here we are in 2008, and DC & I are STILL collaborating.

Our latest collaboration is the THIRD incarnation of the ZeroG SkyDancers perfomance entitled Second Spring. I am the technical director of the SkyDancers, and provide most of the scripted elements for the performance. This latest production sees some of our best work yet.

DC also has me working as a host for these shows, greeting, and getting people seated, and helping with client settings. The show runs through March, and I do encourage you to come if you can. If you do make it, you will most likely see me there.

Here is the trailer for Second Spring:

More 1st life stuff

I do have a first life blog (link on the left) but I do feel some stuff can be shared here. There is a DUKE in the SteamKingdom of Wyoming and I have my first subject and have decided not to abdicate after all. Details in my my 1st Life Blog.

In other news, there is this rabbit that lives near my apartment here in Casper, WY. I see him around from time to time, he always hops away from me. Or sometimes I just see his footprints in the snow. I have named him "Desmond".

A little on topic 1st Life stuff: KING of Wyoming Steampunks

I have determined that I am Wyoming's sole Steampunk. Another reason I do not fit in here. But there is a bright side to it, I have declared myself KING of the Wyoming Steampunks. I will probably abdicate my throne on the news of my first subject, unless of course they like me as SteamLiege. I have also Decided to annex the territories of Montana, Idaho, and the Dakotas as they seem to be void of Steampunks as well. I will lavish titles on any visitors to my court in Casper, WY (though it is our hearts that make us noble not the title) so if you ever wanted to be a Countess or an Earl or something like that, as King of the Wyoming Steampunks I would be happy to ennoble you so a fully recognized title in the SteamKingdom of Wyoming and those kingdoms, principalities, territories and Sky-Admiralties that I have diplomatic relationships with.

You may also gain a title by hosting a State Visit of the King of Wyoming SteamPunks.

I do plan on printing my own money, the Wyoming SteamBuck, but I need help designing the notes, any artists that wish to help will of course be paid in Wyoming SteamBucks.

I've been Tagged (3 times)

Well I guess I cannot ignore it any longer, I have been tagged 3 times now I guess I must get to posting. My taggers are Miss Kiralette Kelley, Miss Lavendar Beaumont, and Miss Hypatia Callisto. So I am gonna bend the rules a bit. Since I was tagged 3 times, I will list not 8 random facts but 24 random facts. Since I am late to the game, I will not tag others as I think everyone in the Caledon blogosphere HAS been tagged by this point, and some like me, more than once.

So here goes.

1) My avatar has a blue ponytail, I used to have one in real life but cut it off while looking for a job. Turns out the job I landed, it would not have mattered.

2) I am growing my hair out again so I may have a blue ponytail again in the future.

3) I like dressing weird in Real Life. I wear non traditional looking kilts, Victorian style shirts, cravat, and waistcoats, I've gone out wearing kimono, and just last night I went shopping wearing my replica Colonial Warrior Jacket from Battlestar Galactica (70s version)

4) I wrote my first computer program at age 6 on an Apple II+. The program was two lines long written in BASIC and was as follows:

10 PRINT "CHRIS"
20 GOTO 10

5) My favorite soda is Jolt Cola, but its hard to find. so...

6) I created the Jolt Finder to help people find Jolt Cola. The Jolt folk know about it and link to it from the official site.

7) I spotted a labeling error on the Jolt Silver cans which I brought to their attention and was fixed. (they neglected to list caffeine in the ingredients)

8) I only watch 4 shows on television regularly. These shows are Heroes, Journeyman, Battlestar Galactica, and Dexter.

9) I like to say I am ambisinister which is a word I invented that means "equally uncoordinated in both hands".

10) My favorite food is buffalo wings. Someday I want to go to the Anchor Bar where they were invented.

11) The only bottle openers and can openers I own are on my swiss army knives I use them often too.

12) Many people think Star Wars is my favorite movie, but actually my favorite movie is the 1927 Silent Film Metropolis by Fritz Lang.

13) On November 23, 2007 having determined to probably being Wyoming's sole SteamPunk, I declared myself King of the Wyoming SteamPunks, and will abdicate my throne on acquiring my first subject.

14) I have more than once forgot to go to sleep because I was reading wikipedia. You know how one article leads to a few others that lead to a few more, etc. and so forth and on and on and on...

15) I am nearsighted. I have often thought about putting glasses on my avatar but never found any I really liked.

16) I know I am getting older as there are video games in my house I have never played.

17) I play guitar. I even got payed to do it for a while. That was nice.

18) I have a calico beard. I have black, brown, red, and white whiskers in my beard.

19) I was reading by 3 years old, and was told I had a college level reading level while still in elementary school.

20) I still have my very first toy, a crocheted rabbit made by my father's boss' wife on the occasion of my birth.

21) I've only lost at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit once, and I play with a handicap. I once won a game in one turn.

22) I wrote my first script when I was 10 days old in Second Life. It was a script to change the opacity of a window in three stages.

23) I was a fan of pixar when they were still doing Lifesavers and Listerine commercials, many years before Toy Story.

24) I had many building toys when I was a kid, but never owned a single lego brick until I was an adult.

A fragmentary discovery

The following was found recently on the beach of FreeFlow, obviously damaged by the sea it seems to be written in ZenMondo's hand...

Dear Journal,

Well I finally after months of consideration (illegible) and she said (page is torn) and I am very very (illegible) I will be looking forward to my first anniversary of being in Caledon and now will have another (illegible) celebrate come Nov. 3

Lord Zen?

As announced in Her Grace Duchess of Kintyre Lavendar Beumont's blog, in being inducted into her court she has elevated this Knight to the rank of Earl for my tireless work I have done in Her Grace's service. She has created and made me 1st Earl of Machrihanish.

It is also well known that Her Grace is also known simply as Dar, my Lady Love, and the topic of my elevation has been in many late night conversations. In fact I dug in my heels and fought it until the 11th hour, holding out hope she would surprise me with induction into the Order of the Dragonfly. I enjoy being a Knight and have no higher aspirations than that. Yet she, and rightly so has reserved that honor for those who have not yet been honored elsewhere. It is very true that I have been recognized time and again for my service, and I should not feel so greedy to be in every chivalric order.

The motto of Kintryre is "Not for ourselves alone", and we are all about service to our nation and the recognition of those that do not usually get the glory. For those of you that know me, I have the heart of a servant. Being in my position has given me a glorious opportunity to serve, and serve not only my Lady Love, but hopefully Caledon as a whole. Also this opportunity has allowed me to serve in ways other than CodePoet. Its nice to know that I am not a one trick pony.

I have reluctantly accepted this elevation, and though I may be styled Lord or Laird I will not "lord" my position over anyone, nor will I cease in my work, I still feel like a Knight, or a Samurai. Samurai literally meaning "one who serves". I hope you will continue to address me as Sir Zen, or even just Zen, or even Mr. Wormser.

And please remember if you have an idea that will serve and benefit Caledon and need codepoetry to see it to completion (including public events), my services for such work has always been and will always be gratis.

The role of criticism

There are times when criticism is warranted, but I have to wonder what the purpose is in creating a persona to do only that, then attmept to pass it off as entertainment.

Now I know we all have our ideas of what Caledon should and should not be, what belongs and what does not. Caledon is an ideal, I have my ideas as to how it should be, and I know that not everyone agrees with me. In most cases I use the covenant as my guide, and some have said I take it too seriously, but I believe in our governing document.

There is room in Caledon for all our ideas and idealism within the theme of our beloved nation.


Dialog is always an option, but it is the opinion of this CodePoet that the creation of a persona to criticize anonymously is not the work of a concerned citizen but that of one who is more concerned with tearing down than building up. If one does have a long history in Caledon and strong opinions and wants to criticize others, I say use the reputation you have built instead of hiding behind a constructed persona, and come out guns blazing with an avatar mere days old.

I've just heard a song...

I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
Where we just met.
She's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see
We've met, mmm-mmm-mmm-m'mmm-mmm.

I first noticed Dar when at the Tournament for Life Kissing Booth in Loch Avie when she piped up "I'll kiss Mr. Wormser for L$300" or however much it was. I was flattered by her boldness and like a gentleman, puckered up for a good cause.


Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
And I'd have never been aware.
But as it is I'll dream of her
Tonight, di-di-di-di'n'di.

I hate to think of the odds of two people meeting and falling in love. I know it happens everyday, but it doesn't happen to me everyday (contrary to what some people think) Until that day, Dar completely flew under my radar, and to this day 4 and half months later I am grateful for her BOLD MOVE.


Falling, yes I am falling,
And she keeps calling
Me back again.

I started falling that day, though I will admit slowly at first, but picked up speed as the months go on, I fall more and deeper each day, faster and faster.

I have never known
The like of this, I've been alone
And I have missed things
And kept out of sight
But other girls were never quite
Like this, da-da-n'da-da'n'da.

My relationship with Dar is the best I have had in SL, she has been with me through a difficult time and good times. There was a time where I was single and dating heavily but did not have any deep, committed, relationships, and I really see I have missed out.


So thats why Dar & I now have a song. This is that song, and I am grateful for Lennon & McCartney to put in such good words the way I feel.